ANOTHER FAILURE

I’ve been recognizing my self for years to find out where I’m good at. Now I have to face the failure, well it’s another failure. Another disappointed by rejected application letter, rejected email and rejected hope. I knew it would come again after I had it many, but somehow confidence self persuade to wake me up after a while. And now, it came again. Even I don’t know how much longer to cure this.

This is why god gave human forget behaviour. They will forget something bad happens and start to do it again. A woman will forget how suffer they give a birth, and then they will do it again. Someone will eat chili again after they forget how suffer they almost die standing on the spicy food.
I really can’t draw the future for now. It looks so blur. Will this failure come again every time I try something big? Is this really proved how far I go? I wouldn’t have more chance to compete with someone clever. I’m not match with them. I’m just ordinary person who will go wherever the wave goes and I Will fly wherever the wind is rustling. Am I just going to end up like most people in this universe? I don’t want to be one. But people have to face the reality, right? And that’s the scariest thing for me, face the unexpected reality.
God will not give you a test unless you can handle it. I know that saying. yeah I don't want to be down for so long. I have to stand up to walk on this land like a man. I beleive I can get over it. My failure is nothing compares to Thomas Alpha Edison's. The sun will rise in the morning after about 12 hours it's dark. Yeah I will forget this after a while. I will fofget it just like I forget what time I ate yesterday. This world is just too wide to think about it only. There're many unlimited things to be thought and done.
This is life, up and down, right and left, appear and dissapear, sad and happy, smile and sullen etc. You will enjoy the movie if the movie has no conflict. Some of you are not enjoying the movie which has a simple conflict. The more conflict that movie has, the more attractive this movie is.
Now I better build the spirit up again, try to stand up slowly and arrange everything again. And I want to say something in my heart " I can do it!"

Above all I was actually forgotten about every thing given by god. I didn’t realize how healthy I was. I was really fit doing preparation even on the test. I didn’t realize how spirit full I was; studying everyday, gaining the score on my practices, talking by my self in English. I didn’t realize how easy I was; many of my friends let me borrow their books for free, an old friend sent me amount of money for the test fee, one of my friend let me stayed in his place during the test. Are they not easiness god gave for me? Absolutely yes! I was blind by this failure. Yes I was. I shouldn’t be like this. I should be thankful.

Now god opens my eyes by giving me oral ulceration. Something good will feel it when it’s gone. I can feel I delicious eating something without having oral ulceration. God warn me to not acting like this. He makes me realize on those Pleasants. Ya Allah please forgive me for not being thankful to you. Forgive me for not being polite to you. I’m so sorry.

The picture is taken from Here